Saturday 5 December 2015

Shift 'n' stout

Hard work: might seem easy at first,
but a bit of a slog over time
Application. Graft. Dedication. Sticking to a task. Diligence. Focus. Putting a bit of elbow grease into it. Effort. Pertinacity. Getting off your arse. 

Sadly, most if not all of these things and qualities have been distinctly lacking in my life to date. Almost from the word go I've been a bit, well, lazy really. I think I learned quite early on that I could get away with doing the bare minimum and still achieve OK results, so I stuck with that as an MO. From primary school tests through O-levels (yes, I'm that old), A-levels and a University degree, I've somehow managed to sail through with only a modicum of effort.

When the world of work beckoned (or rather, when I was finally forced into it due to a dearth of funds), it was a bit of a shock. All of a sudden, there seemed to be so much to do and barely any time to fit it all in. I hated it. Over the years, I've got better at dealing with it and have perfected the art of working quickly and efficiently. But it's still not something I'd choose to do if I didn't need the money.

But a funny thing has started happening and I'm not sure how it's come about. While increasingly giving less of a shit about stuff that pays the bills, I've become a bit, how to say it, assiduous in many other areas. I'll happily write almost 7,000 words every year on this blog, with scant reward and little recognition. I throw myself at freelance projects with the enthusiasm of a Labrador puppy on first spotting a puddle. I've even started looking after my shoes properly.

And today, I rewaxed a coat I bought earlier this year that was in desperate need of it. Spent a good three hours carefully applying wax and working it into the fabric. Methodically. Evenly. Paying extra attention to the seems, shoulders and upper arms while avoiding contact with the lining. The coat now looks brand new. It'll last years if I keep this up.

I'm wondering what's next. Which aspect of my life will now benefit from my new-found industrial outlook? I'm genuinely looking forward to finding out.

Perhaps I'll start taking care about my appearance; dress a bit smarter. Maybe I'll look after my finances better; with less of a can't-take-it-to-your-grave mentality. Will I finally sort out that frightening mound of unopened letters from the bank, energy company, mobile provider, etc.? Who knows?

One thing's for sure - I'm going to make short work of this beer. First Kernel out of the calendar this year and one about which I've heard good things. Just need to work out whether I can be arsed to give it a write up.

Beer: Kernel Dry Stout Citra
Strength: A piss-easy 4.7%
Smell: A stupendously rich plum pudding with a faint dusting of ground almonds.
Tasting notes: It's dry all right. I love everything about the way it just floats majesterially through the opulent foyer of your mouth cracking sardonic funnies as it goes to the utter delight of all assembled. An incisive wit and as devastating in its put-down as it is uplifting in its flattery, this beer is probably as close to Noel Coward as you could possibly want to encounter. But all good things must come to an end and that's where this one falls over. What should, for me at least, be the point at which all the different strands of entertaining badinage come to a head and deliver a knock-out punchline, this comes out with such a non-sequitor as makes it difficult to wonder whether it was just making it up all along. I'm not desperately disappointed, just a bit taken aback.
Session factor: Pretty good given its modest strength, but too many WTF moments might make for an awkward evening.
Arbitrary score: 11,393

No comments: